An oldie but a goodie – edited for repost – now a college graduate, boy how time flies!
Of all the stuff my college freshman will pack for his first year, this item, “the best gift I didn’t expect to give” is not on any list. It is not sage advice or a heartfelt letter (though I am trying on both those fronts), no, the gift I didn’t expect came to me on a whim.
As parents, we spend these last few months with our teenager, envisioning everything about their new experience and of course comparing it with our own. Will they like the food? I hope they have good roommates. Did they sign up for the right classes?Should I pack a first aid kit? All the stuff that keeps you awake at night.
I started to think about how different our children are from when we went to college – you know the stone ages, pre-cell phone, pre-social media. As much as I enjoy these modern inventions, I do also feel dismayed at what this next generation is missing. We (the dinosaurs) spent time in person, not on-line, we met people easily and engaged more readily because we had no choice. When I think of dorm life, I think of that giant, crazy, loud, fun, slumber party of a hallway that makes me smile today!
And that is when it hit me, the very best gift I could give my college freshman is a door stop.
Not even a new door stop, but one from the house that I no longer need. I was going to wrap it and hide it in his luggage but instead I decided to tell him about it.
The conversation went something like this:
Me: “I’m giving you this door stop for your dorm room.”
Him: “Okaaayyy?????”
Me: “No seriously, I want you to use this when you are hanging out in the room. I want your door to be open for people walking by. An open door is the first step in saying, “come on in”. You see, you don’t have to be on-line to be social anymore. You can socialize in person. An open door says, welcome, and let’s new people come in.
(He hadn’t interrupted or rolled his eyes, so I kept going…) Back in the day, we didn’t have fancy doors that slam shut and have finger print entry. The best part of living in a dorm was wandering down the hallway and seeing who else was hanging out, because everyone’s door was wide open.”
I could smell the wood burning. He turned the doorstop over in his hand and I thought he was about to hand it back. I waited, and stopped talking, two things if you know me are an accomplishment. And then he said…
Him: “That’s not a bad idea, I’ll take it.”
The conversation ended there, but as you can imagine, like every parent whose child is moving on, I had so much more to say. Reminders to repeat for the thousandth time, safety to instill, wisdom I hoped I had passed on, but for today, I will treasure the idea that he will use his door stop and be open. It’s the best gift I can give my college freshman.